That I'm fucking awesome.
But seriously...
I think my biggest issue is the Theo thing.
I thought I wasn't upset...but I realized it actually is brining me down.
Madison has like...5 guys that like her right now...why couldn't the one I found like me?
The thing that made me realize he was perfect for me was this:
"I'm not really a texter. I much prefer calling and talking on the phone or in person."
What's the one thing I want to do?
Fall asleep talking to (insert boyfriend here) on the phone.
I don't know.
Matthew is really cool. And sweet. But I don't see him that often. And he's never on facebook.
And he's not a music major.
I...I don't know if I can date a non-music major.
Is that bad?
I just want to...when I feel bad about myself, I want a guy to be there and let me cry, or just hold me until I fall asleep, making me feel worth something. I just want to cuddle. And sleep. Or just talk. About anything and everything.
Thats not my only issue.
I really am frustrated with school right now. I don't like anything. I think my favorite class right now is Acoustics. Cause there's ...meat (for lack of a better word) in it. There's work to do. And pay attention too. Theory is kind of the same too. But I really just want...regular school again. Screw this 'only taking classes I'm good at' shit. Give me stuff I suck at again.
Or!
Just give me a job without a degree, that I'm happy to do everyday.
There we go.
That works.
Chelsea, you'll find that guy. He's gonna show up. He's just either not sure of how to tell you, or he hasn't met you yet, but you are too great of a person not to find someone.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, it'll be like my bro, and you'll have to go to Italy to find the person at UNT who is a music ed major that you'd never noticed before.
Who knows? Cyra, probably.
She also knows that the destination isn't the thing you remember. It's the journey, and so just relax, and enjoy the journey.
Not saying lose the emotions, but just don't let them over run you. You have people you can cry to, or hold, or talk about anything with, even if it's not in that boyfriend/girlfriend way.