They come and go but they don't know.

That I'm fucking awesome.

But seriously...
I think my biggest issue is the Theo thing.
I thought I wasn't upset...but I realized it actually is brining me down.
Madison has like...5 guys that like her right now...why couldn't the one I found like me?


The thing that made me realize he was perfect for me was this:
"I'm not really a texter. I much prefer calling and talking on the phone or in person."

What's the one thing I want to do?
Fall asleep talking to (insert boyfriend here) on the phone.


I don't know.
Matthew is really cool. And sweet. But I don't see him that often. And he's never on facebook.
And he's not a music major.
I...I don't know if I can date a non-music major.

Is that bad?

I just want to...when I feel bad about myself, I want a guy to be there and let me cry, or just hold me until I fall asleep, making me feel worth something. I just want to cuddle. And sleep. Or just talk. About anything and everything.

Thats not my only issue.
I really am frustrated with school right now. I don't like anything. I think my favorite class right now is Acoustics. Cause there's ...meat (for lack of a better word) in it. There's work to do. And pay attention too. Theory is kind of the same too. But I really just want...regular school again. Screw this 'only taking classes I'm good at' shit. Give me stuff I suck at again.

Or!
Just give me a job without a degree, that I'm happy to do everyday.
There we go.
That works.

Rawr

Casey?
Theo?

WAIT.
First question.

Do I even have a chance with either of them? If not...does it matter if I like both of them at the same time? Or should I pick one too like, and work on 'wooing' him? Or should I try both in hopes that one of them will fall for me? But what, if on the off chance, they both fall for me? I'd feel even more torn. I'd probably pick Theo - he's the right one for me based on commonalities and those things. But Casey...he's so attractive, and he talks to me, and he's actually really sweet. But Theo is attractive. Really attractive. I wish you could see him in person.

I'm about to pull my hair out.
Maybe some guy, oh I don't know...THE ONE, should come in and sweep me up, so this can be over with.